MAKING TIME FOR YOUR PRIORITIES
“I’m stretched too thin.”
“I have too much to do.”
“I am being pulled in a thousand different directions.”
“There’s no way I can get it all done.”
“My life is completely out of balance.”
These are all common complaints that I hear on a daily basis from the ladies I chat with. Being a mother is an intense job, and unlike other jobs, there’s no holiday and no days off.
It’s also one of the most demanding jobs in the world, with ridiculously high expectation from everyone, even people you don’t know! Somehow, we, as women of the modern world, are expected to be perfect mothers AND perfect wives AND look stunning at all hours of the day AND have a career AND have spotless houses. And what’s more, we’re meant to make it look easy.
Looking frazzled and stressed out at the supermarket is a sure-fire way to get raised eyebrows and whispers of “well, she obviously can’t handle it”.
The persistent pressure that we as modern homemakers are under can be enough to break us. There have been days where I have felt resentful towards my life and everything in it, because everything seems to have completely gotten on top of me.
So what’s a gal to do?
I have found that the best way to ensure my life is on track and not getting ‘too much’ is to really focus in on my priorities. And I mean LASER FOCUS… as in identifying what it is that’s the most important to you and your family, and saying “sayonara” to everything else.
It can be easy to want to do everything and achieve more, be more, do more. But we only have 24 hours in the day. And the only way we can be truly happy and content with our lives is if we ensure that those 24 hours are spent focusing on our priorities. Once those priorities are looked after, you’ll start to feel that amazing feeling… a sense of peace.
1. IDENTIFY YOUR PRIORITIES
Sit down (ideally with your partner) and write out your top 5 priorities. Ensuring you don’t add more than five means you won’t be ‘pulled in too many directions’. The less things you have to focus on, the more time you will be able to devote to each one.
For many homemakers our priorities may look very similar, but it’s important not to base this off of someone else’s life. Their priorities are not necessarily your priorities. You need to make sure you are looking at what is important for YOU and YOUR family.
Here are some ideas if you are stuck:
- Your kids
- Your partner
- Your faith
- Your home
- Your business / career
- Your hobbies
- Your friends / social life
- Your health
- Your mental well-being
I would highly encourage you to include at least one ‘selfish’ priority on your list of five, like your health or your social life. It can be SO easy for mamas to feel guilty for spending time doing the things that they enjoy rather than doing the housework or playing with the kids, but it is super important. If we don’t look after ourselves, how the heck are we meant to look after everyone else?!
2. IDENTIFY YOUR NECESSITIES
There is a big difference between having to do something and feeling like you should be doing something. We have to feed our kids. There’s no two ways about that. But something like growing all your own from scratch is optional. Of course it would be lovely to know that all our food comes from our own garden, and is therefore cheaper and free of any nasty chemicals. But is that really a necessity in your life? Could you get by simply by purchasing organic at the store?
The important thing to remember here is that just because you’re choosing not to do something right now, that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to one day. We go through seasons in life, and where you may not have time to grow your own garden right now, that’s not to say you won’t have time to do it later on in life, maybe once the kids are in school or can help out more.
So be honest with yourself and identify those things that you absolutely HAVE to do each day, no negotiations.
For me, these are:
- Feeding my family
- Chores like washing the dishes and doing laundry
- Personal hygiene
- Going to work
I cannot live without any of these things. We need clean clothes to wear. We need clean dishes to eat off of. I need to go to work to earn a living.
Once you have identified your necessities, have a think about how much time you will spend each day on these things. Obviously sleep will take up the majority of your 24 hours. By doing this, you’re giving yourself an idea of how much time you have left over to focus on your priorities.
3. BLOCK OFF YOUR PRIORITIES
Now that you have an idea of how much time you have, you can start blocking off time for your priorities. I want you to physically write your priorities into whatever calendar system you use. I know it might feel strange writing ‘play with kids’ into your calendar, but having it actually scheduled in means you are far more likely to actually do it. It also means that if someone asks if you’re free on that particular day, you can see that you had already scheduled in time with your kids.
On that note, we need to make sure that when other things do crop up and invade our scheduled time, we ask ourselves the following question…
“Is this thing important enough to sacrifice my priorities?”
If the answer is no, then you can politely decline. Saying no to things is a skill that can be really difficult to get the knack of, but it is our most powerful tool as homemakers. Everything that’s got a space on your calendar needs to DESERVE to be there. If it’s not important to you or your family, then why are you spending time on it? Every time you say yes to something that’s not important, you are effectively saying no to the things that are important. And dat ain’t good!
SPEAKING OF PRIORITIES, I HAVE CREATED A TIME MANAGEMENT TOOLKIT THAT WILL HELP YOU TO PLAN YOUR DAY WITH YOUR PRIORITIES IN MIND!
The toolkit includes a video masterclass on goal setting, a morning and evening routines workbook, cleaning hacks and much more all delivered straight to your inbox, baby! It’ll walk you through how to do things like …
- How to set goals and actually find the time to achieve them (BOOM!)
- How to create a morning and evening routine that sets your day up for success
- How to clean your house in ten minutes or less
- How to fit prayer around your busy life
- How to make time for self-care